Create More Tension in Your Scenes Using the “Avoidance Outcome”

One of the biggest stress-inducing problems in creative writing happens when you’re writing dialogue and you know what your characters need to say for a particular scene, but nothing else. They aren’t doing anything. They’re just talking. You try to give them mannerisms so they don’t become talking heads. Maybe they scratch an itch or fiddle with something in their hands. But soon you realize they rubbed at their neck every other time they spoke, and that you’ve just used the words face and hand like eleven times on the same page.

The best way to combat this problem is to give your characters something to do. Even if their actions have no essential bearing on the plot. The action you give them becomes essential to the scene. And while, yes, every scene in a novel must be essential, the dialogue imparted has already made the scene important, and the actions you choose to give your characters can deepen their development or give us insight into their emotional state.

Action that may not be essential to the entire plot can be essential to the scene.

However, sometimes merely giving your characters something to do is not enough to make a scene interesting. Say two characters are washing a car instead of just sitting down and doing nothing while they chat. If nothing out of the ordinary happens while they are washing the car, if there is nothing riding on the outcome of this chore or no consequences in place should something happen to the car, then this set of actions offers no tension to the plot.

One sure-fire way to add tension to your scenes is to create an “Avoidance Outcome.” Give us something to avoid, and then end the scene with it happening or almost happening. That way, as the scene unfolds, not only are we focused on what the characters are saying, we also experience immediate concern for the actions taking place.

Say two people are talking, but there is a baby sleeping between them. If the baby wakes up and starts to cry, the noise will alert a third character of their presence, and they will get in trouble. The “Avoidance Outcome” of the scene then becomes “Don’t wake the baby.” The climax of that scene could take us close to waking that baby up, or one of the characters could lose their temper, raise their voice, and actually wake the baby.

One of the most common examples of this in pop culture is when a character in a movie or show says, “Whatever you do, don’t…” The “Avoidance Outcome” then becomes not to stare at a certain person because they have some sort of physical defect or to mention some subject that could send them into a rage.

While these scenarios have become a little over-done, one example I find worked well is in The Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King. Before Gandalf and Pippin go in to speak with Denethor, Gandalf warns Pippin not to speak of Boromir’s death. Then he warns him of the other topics he shouldn’t bring up and ends with telling him he should probably not speak at all. Of course, what does Pippin do? He speaks and mentions Boromir’s death and ends up as a Steward of Gondor, a position that puts him in mortal danger. The point is, going into the scene, we know there is a danger of Pippin speaking. When the subject of Boromir is brought up, we tense because we know it is getting harder and harder for Pippin to remain silent.

Here is a list of other general “Avoidance Outcome” scenarios that might help add tension to a scene. Remember to make sure the consequences are clear or can at least be inferred if your “Avoidance Outcome” does come true.

• Place an important/expensive and fragile object in a scene and have your characters struggle not to break it.
• One character doesn’t know a piece of information that could hurt them. Have your main character try to steer a group conversation away from that topic, while the rest of the group is oblivious to their attempts to save the ignorant person.
• Place a cup of coffee in a precarious place and make it topple and teeter as your characters move around. Perhaps the only one that notices is too far away or in a position where they couldn’t help if it did end up falling.
• Two characters shouldn’t meet in a scene. Show us your main character’s attempts to distract one or both of these people so they won’t notice the other.
• Your character needs to look nice for an important occasion. Then make them starving and give them a melting ice-cream cone or a burger dripping with sauce and have them struggle to avoid getting their clothes stained.
• Two characters have made a bet that another character will do or say something. Have one character steer them away from this possibility while the other is doing the opposite.
• The ground is slippery under your characters’ feet. End the scene with one falling.
• It’s cold and windy, and your characters’ campfire is just about to go out and leave them in the dark. Have them stoke and feed the fire while the flames continue to dwindle.
• Your character has an addiction (whether it be drugs, gambling, junk food, video games). Put them in a place where the object of their addiction is readily available and have them struggle to remain strong.
• There is a source of danger or discomfort in the corner of a room. (Say it’s where a feral cat is crouched, a spider has built its web, or an obnoxious uncle sits ready to lure his relatives into his latest scam.) Have your character/s try to avoid this corner of the room for a long as possible until something makes it impossible to dodge the danger/discomfort any longer.
• Your character has an ailment. They hurt their finger, have a really bad sore throat and shouldn’t talk, or have stitches in their mouth and shouldn’t laugh. Through the course of the scene, get them to use the part of their body or do the thing that will hurt their ailment further.
• Your character has a bad temper when a certain topic is mentioned. Have the person speaking with them goad them into getting upset by continually bringing up the topic.